Tough love hurts...even daddy.

Daddy's big boy getting a trim.

This past weekend I took my boys in for a hair-cut.... a little earlier than routine, but I wanted them to have a nice hair-cut for Thanksgiving.

I've been taking the boys in for haircuts for over two years  now and have watched them progress from outright hysterics to sometimes mild-stubbornness or reluctance. Any parent who's taken a child in for a hair-cut, dental appt. , etc.  knows this is par for the course....  kids simply don't like anything that has to do with a chair.   So up until a month ago , the boys have always sat on  my lap while getting their hair cut....  one being they were a bit under-sized for the chair and secondly, they simply weren't going to sit by themselves.

So trip before last .... it took some coaxing on my part and the barber's... but we had got the boys to sit by themselves...   such a big milestone.  I believe I bragged about it on my FaceBook timeline.  The boys were quite proud themselves...   "I sat by myself daddy"   ....as they should have been.

First hair-cut....   amazing how far they've come. 

However this most recent trip was somewhat different.   Michael , the older of the twins was just not feeling sitting by himself,  which is somewhat uncharacteristic.  Michael is usually my brave adventurous one.  He told me he didn't want to sit by himself...    I reminded him that he sat by himself last time and he was a big boy. But he wasn't having it. We went back and forth on this for about two minutes.   Trying to be considerate of the barbers time and other patrons, I came close to giving in and just letting him sit on my lap.  But I thought to myself... "If I do this...  its' a step backwards...  when as a parent should I ever encourage my boys to move against progress?"   So I picked Michael up and placed him on the booster-seat and kept steady eye-contact and told him he was a "big boy" now and it was time for him to sit by himself.  I reassured him I was going to be standing right there.  

Of course here come the tears....  I should point out.. if Michael is shedding tears.... its serious.  Don't ever like to see either of my boys crying at this stage....  but something about tears streaming down Michael's face that really pulls on my heart.  The barber wrapped the "kid friendly"  apron around him and raised the chair to the necessary height and that's when Michael went into an all out cry....   Once the sound of those clippers came on it was over..  Michael must have cried out "Daddy"  over a hundred times in the first two minutes.    I kept trying to reassure him while he was sitting there  that everything was okay....  I also let him know he was doing a good job. It seemed though the more I reassured him the more he resisted.  I found own self getting emotional....  there my boy was crying for me and I couldn't do anything.... or shouldn't do anything I should say.  I knew this was all apart of growing and that if I gave in and let him sit on my lap...  the very next time we went to get hair-cuts he would expect the same thing.  This would not set a good precedent.  

A little more than half way through I think Michael came to realize I wasn't  "giving in"  and as tears continued to stream down his cheeks and roll down the vinyl apron around his neck...   Michael with that "crying-stutter talk" that every parent is s familiar with says... "d...d.. daddy...  I..wan ..want to hold your hand"   I smiled at him and wiped the tears from his face and told him of course he could hold my hand and to squeeze as tight as he could This seemed to calm him down quite a bit.  I don't know who was squeezing tighter...  him or me.    Before we knew it .... the barber was all done...  as he unwrapped the apron from around Michael , he couldn't jump on me quick enough.  I can't remember him squeezing me so tight... I hugged him back and told him how proud I was of him and he did a great job. The barber and all the other patrons applauded him as well.  

So this is one of those "tough love" moments you recall your parents talking about...  The times when certain things they did or didn't let you do , we all thought they were just being heartless and mean.  No they were doing what they did because of how much they loved us.  I don't know... tough love may seem to really crappy for a child's perspective... but I will say it really sucks for a dad.  

I should mention that Wm climbed up into the barber chair and got his haircut without protest,  I want to think this had nothing to do with me... but seeing how brave his brother was and being the guardian he is... would never let harm come to him and he'd be there (with dad) to protect him

I'm proud of my boys for that little milestone in growth.....   heck I'm even a little proud of myself for showing some "tough love"  even if it does hurt a little.

Thanks for reading...

FatherEd