A year later.... :An open letter to my boys

My dearest boys,

Hey boys! It's been a while. Oh how I miss this.... writing here on this blog nearly everyday. Writing about you, for you and to you. Of course it was all so easy before daddy went back to work full-time. A blog entry was part of my normal daily routine. Sitting down at the end of everyday sharing with the world whatever great adventures or experiences may have unfolded.

As we approach the year anniversary of me going back to work full-time. I just wanted to take a minute to write you and let you know first , how proud I am of you on how you've adjusted. It wasn't easy but you did it. You adapted and adjusted as best as (at the time) any 3 yr. old could. Watching you grow and develop and matriculate and progress through pre-school has also made me proud. Not being with you nearly everyday as I was when I was not working has given me a greater appreciation for your uniqueness and individuality. You are two distinctly different but remarkable human beings. I still find myself utterly amazed sometimes that I'm part responsible for two amazing boys.

Our last Target Weds lunch.... Oh the memories
Secondly, I'm also thankful. Thankful for your patience, resilience, and gratitude. For the better part of the first three years of your life it was particularly challenging for us all as I wasn't working full-time and it made things very difficult. In every way.... emotionally and financially. But you boys hung in there, never complained and never gave up on daddy.For that I will always be grateful. 

I tell you... this first year back to work hasn't been easy. I enjoy working with other families and helping them protect themselves and their children's futures. But, what I don't like is the grueling hours my job demands and the time it takes me away from you. I feel like I've missed so much of you. I do my best to try to keep up with your development, and health and welfare as well as what's going on at school. But I still feel like I'm missing so much.

You wont believe this but for the first few weeks when I started working I would go eat lunch at Target on Weds just like we used to every week when daddy got his unemployment check. I miss that. I miss so much.... I miss our weekly trips to Target, morning walks, and park visits. I miss cooking breakfast and making lunch.... I miss rocking you to sleep and even I miss changing those stinky diapers. Being with you boys during that time was some of the most amazing times in my life. Moments I'll treasure forever. I am thankful everyday for the opportunity I got to spend that time with you. I do believe it was meant to be.

I can't say that I'll be doing what I do forever. But do know I will always dedicate myself and do everything I can to provide for you now and your future. I want you to have most of the things you need and a few of the things you want. I have to work TWICE as hard of course because twins aren't cheap.

I know a lot of the things I promised didn't happen as fast as I'd have liked them to, if at all. I realize I need to re-shift my focus, dig deep and find a way to make those things happen. I want to be able to do more for you , but I also need to be able to spend more time with you. These years are so critical and it's important that I spend more time with you and give you the nurturing, guidance, and love a father should.

Breakfast time....  
Oh what a life....  

Please know that when daddy isn't with you , I'm working hard FOR you. I'm always thinking about you. You are my drive and determination every day. I'm learning this is a marathon and not a sprint. We are going to get to our goals... I promise. It may take a little bit longer and it may not happen like I had it planned. But it will I promise.

Don't give up and I won't either. I can guarantee that. Of course you know how much I love you. In a few months you will be embarking on an educational journey as you start kindergarten. I have the utmost confidence you will do well. It's going to be a time period in your life that is exciting and amazing. You will learn so much during these years. I'll be learning with you too.

So I close in simply saying.. . Thank you WiMi, thank you so much for the honor, and privilege of sharing the many joys from the times we've spent together and most importantly for being able to be your father. Remember what I tell you each and ever day about looking out and protecting each other. Always thinking about you.

With much love,



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