A New Beginning II- an open letter to my boys.

On Monday April 16th after more than 3 yrs down-sized, I return to the work-force.  Here I store my thoughts, reflections and hopes for my boys to someday read....

Dearest WiMi,

Over the past three years there were times I never thought this day would come.  But here we are.  I say "we", because without you, I would have never made it this far.  You've been my rock, my support, my drive.  You are why I never gave up.  I knew I could never give up on you because you didn't give up on me.

Looking back over these past three years we've had some wonderful and fascinating times.  I've watched you grow in ways many fathers if any parents get to witness.  I'm so proud of you.  You've been resilient, patient and faithful.  I couldn't have asked for two more perfect sons, you embody what family is truly about.

Sometimes I feel like we traveled the world all over, and in actuality, very few times did we ever leave the state. So many wonderful things we saw and places we went. I'll always cherish the things that became so endeared or special  over the course of time.  The land of Sodor will always be one of my favorite places...  morning walks....  geese feeding at the parks, and of course who could forget weekly Target visits.

While we may have had a lot of good times I wont tell you boys that it was an easy road or it was all fun and games.  We took some hits..... got knocked to the ground.  But we got back up and dusted ourselves off and kept moving.  Sometimes I'm still in utter amazement when I think..."how did we make it?"  There were many times when daddy didn't know week to week how we were going to make it the NEXT.  There were times I barely had $2 in my pocket but you made me feel like I had a million.  Only you two could go in a Target and come out smiling after sharing a pretzel.  You are truly humble and grateful and I do admire that about you.

If I could turn back time I'm not sure if I would have done things differently. Working at McDonalds just so I could put you in day-care wasn't going to make you better boys nor make me a better father as did the experience I had with you two boys at home.

As I go back to work.... know that daddy is going to work hard everyday....  trying and doing my best so that I can provide for you now and for your future.  I tell you many times I know you will do great things...  Well know that I will do everything in my power to make sure you have the best opportunity to.

I want to thank you boys so much for what you have given me over these past 3 years.  But not just what you've given me but what you've given up.  I will spend everyday doing what I can to make it up to you.  I love you much and I'll think about you everyday at work.  Now that I wont be there I expect you to take care and protect each other like I've been instilling in you. I've watched you two develop into best friends and its important that you always see to it the other is doing well.  I'm counting on you for that.

Well okay there's so much more I could say... I couldn't possibly surmise three years in 8 paragraphs.  I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you.  God willing we will never have to go through a trial like that.... but if we did... I already know we'd make it.  There's nothing we can't handle..

You boys be blessed and say your prayers everyday, even when I'm not there and remember the quote I've been teaching you...    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.... our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure" (Marianne Williamson)




Kristin S. said...

A beautiful letter - I can feel just how hard it is for you to change directions and go back to work, even though it may be the best thing for you right now. You are clearly a stellar father!

Joy said...

This is a wonderfully touching tribute to true Fatherhood. Thank you for letting us share this precious moment with you!

Warmest regards,

Leslie said...

Your boys are blessed to have you
It is the love that makes them strong and resilient for stormy days

best to you

BloggerFather said...

I've been home for 4 years, and next year, when the girl goes to school, I might have to find work or get an extension ( = another baby). It's tough, no matter what you end up doing. Good luck.

Jenna Bryan said...

Now that you've gotten your first paycheck, I've gone back and read your blog again and it truly brought me to tears. We are all given such precious gifts in our children and you have taken that and truly paid it forward. Your boys will do great things!

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